Three days, one hotel in Toronto, and more notes than I know what to do with. I recently attended my very first mastermind, a group called Connect that's made up of other membership site owners. The sessions and presentations were fantastic. But some of the best lessons came from the moments in between, like the hallway chats, the dinners, and one late night in the hotel lobby.

This post doesn't have a single QuickBooks tip in it. It's for the business owner BEHIND the books. A lot of you are running your boutique on your own, wearing every hat and making every decision by yourself. These three lessons are for you.

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Lesson 1: Get in the Right Room, Even When It's Scary

I was SO nervous to be in that room.

I knew going in that I was probably the least experienced person there. My membership only launched this spring, and some of these people have been running theirs for years. On the sales call before I joined, I flat out told the person I was talking to, “I'm probably going to be the dumbest person in the room.” I told her I didn't feel like I had much to contribute yet. I also told her that if they let me in, I'd be a sponge. I'd absorb everything, implement it, and share what I learned with everyone else.

I was so grateful when they said yes. But when it came time to meet everyone in person, the nerves came right back. I wanted to ask all the questions and take full advantage of the opportunity, and I was also a little worried I'd be judged as the newbie.

That worry didn't last long. Everyone was kind, welcoming, and generous with their advice. I felt right at home, and I'm already looking forward to our next meetup.

What I Heard in the Hotel Lobby

On the first night, we split into small groups and went to different restaurants around the hotel for supper. Afterward, a lot of us ended up back in the lobby, sitting in a big circle. It was too big for one conversation (and the lobby was loud), so a bunch of little side conversations started up.

I sat back for a minute and listened. Okay, fine, I eavesdropped.

At least in that moment, every conversation I could hear was about business. And in every one of them, someone was helping someone else. They shared what worked, what DIDN'T work, and the struggles they were working through. They gave away their knowledge and expertise without expecting a single thing in return.

That's when I realized how badly I needed that. I didn't need more information. I needed to be surrounded by people who get it.

Two things stuck with me from that night. The first is to go deep, not wide. You don't need a hundred business friends. You need a couple of the RIGHT ones, the people who understand what you're doing and who you can call when you're stuck.

The second is to COLLABORATE. Some of the best ideas I heard all weekend came from two people realizing their audiences needed what the other one offered. For you, that could be the boutique down the street, the local candle maker whose products you already carry, or the online-only boutique owner who lives a few blocks away. You're probably not each other's competition as much as you think.

How to Find Your Room as a Boutique Owner

A lot of you are in those big boutique owner Facebook groups. I don't want to say every one of them is bad, because there's some great information in there. But asking 5,000 strangers a question is very different from having three people who know your business and your goals and will be honest with you. That's the difference between a crowd and a community.

Your room could be a local small business group or your chamber of commerce. It could be the boutique owners you keep running into at market. It could be a paid mastermind or a membership. WHERE you find it matters less than WHO is in it. Look for people who understand your struggles, help you brainstorm when you can't figure something out on your own, and encourage you when you're discouraged.

Lesson 2: Don't Go Into It, Grow Into It

One of the speakers said this, and I wrote it down and underlined it twice.

Only add people or overhead (overhead meaning the ongoing costs of running your business, like rent and payroll) when you're bursting at the seams and there's truly no other option. Don't build the team first and hope the business grows enough to support it. Let the business grow first, and let it FORCE you to add support.

In a boutique, going into it might look like hiring your first employee before your sales can cover payroll. It might be signing a lease on a bigger space because it feels like the next step (and it LOOKS good) even though your current space works just fine. Or it might be adding a whole new product line because another boutique is doing it. Every one of those decisions adds a cost you have to cover every single month.

Wait until the business is practically begging you for it. When you're turning customers away, working until midnight, and physically can't keep up, THAT'S when it's time to grow into the next thing.

Lesson 3: Worrying Steals Today's Peace

Worrying doesn't take away tomorrow's trouble. It takes away today's peace.

I'm a worrier. I'm pretty sure it's genetic (my mom is one too), and some nights I lie awake running through a hundred different things that need my attention. One of the presenters shared a simple practice that I really need to start using, and I'd encourage you to try it too.

When something is worrying you, write it down. Get it out of your head and onto paper. Then ask yourself whether there's anything you can actually do about it TODAY. If there is, go do it. Most of the time, the fear shrinks once you take that first step. If there isn't, set it down and walk away. Worrying about it tonight won't change anything tomorrow.

He said one more thing that stuck with me: either the FEAR goes away or the OPPORTUNITY does. If you let fear keep you stuck too long, you can miss the very opportunity you were nervous about.

Find Your People

If you take one thing from this post, let it be this. Find your people. Find a room full of people who get you, who understand your struggles, and who will lift you up when you're feeling down. I walked into that mastermind convinced I'd be the dumbest person there, and I walked out with a group of people I can call when I need help.

If you want that kind of room for the money side of your boutique, that's what I've built inside the Bookkeeping Made Simple for Boutiques membership. It's a community of boutique owners learning to do their own bookkeeping together. They ask questions, share what's working, and cheer each other on. Enrollment is closed right now, but you can join the waitlist at findingfreedomfinancial.com/membership to hear as soon as the doors open back up.